I just yelled at my 3 year old. I mean, I held her shoulders and I really yelled at her. I scared her. I scared her older sister. I feel sick inside. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I was so angry. I just let it go. It was nasty. It was ugly. It was down right mean. What am I teaching her? I was angry because she just punched her older sister three times in a row...again....right after giving her a hug and saying sorry for just doing the same thing twice before. Why does she hit her older sister? Because she has made her angry. So, I lost it when I was angry....therefore it's OK for her to lose it. Good job mom! I sent her to her room and told her to get in her pj's and go to bed. She came up after she was in her pj's to give me a hug. I talked to her calmly but sternly that I didn't want her to ever hit anybody ever again, and if she did I was going to start taking her dresses away(she loves her dresses, that is all she wears). So they both go to their room to go to bed, and not even five minutes later the oldest is back up telling me that her sister punched her again. So I go down and open her closet and take out a dress, she cries. Will this get her to stop being so violent to her older sister? I don't know, but nothing else is working, especially my own fit of rage.
Honey, In no way are you
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your pain. I can be there right with you. I have a horrible temper...that said, I have tried so hard to control it but, there are sometimes that it seems just next to impossible. I pray every night and every morning for the strength to not hit, yell or lose it.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to be a good mom but that is just so hard to control. I hope that someday the boys will remember that their mom is human and that she loves them. I want them to know that everyone has something that they struggle with, and if that is what they take away from my imperfectness...then I guess my struggles are worth it.
You are a wonderful mom...if you aren't then there is not a hope for the rest of us! :)
I have, currently, a sixteen month old that bites, nonstop. Bites so hard that he leaves bruises that last a week or more. Nothing seems to work. Believe you me, if it were my own kid on the line, I think I might have bitten/smacked him back out of sheer frustration. It is so maddening to feel helpless--like nothing you say or do is getting through.
ReplyDeleteI have another one, five years old that is constantly naughty--destructive, mean, intentionally disobedient. What do you do? Sometimes I think there are children who know no other language beyond body language, I don't know.
I pray every day, all day for the patience to not harm these kids, because I'd sure like to let it fly sometimes. I say things I regret--not because they aren't true, but because I feel the Spirit leave me when I say them, and I know it's wrong. But ARG! I never thought I had any sort of temper at all, until I've been faced with this kind of behavior.
Just keep praying girl, and I think it helps to admit when you make a mistake, too. Keeps you honest :o)