Please stop judging HIM for the decisions WE made.
It is true that my husband leaves the house for work about the same time that the kids do for school. It is true that he isn't ever home for dinner except on his days off. And it is true that he is rarely home before the kids go to bed. BUT that is the life that WE chose when we moved to Milk River. We were both aware of the fact that it would require an hours commute(on an open, well maintained highway not a traffic crammed deerfoot trail in Calgary or something of the like) to and from work and that his store opens at 9am and closes at 6pm, so even if it were possible for him to leave at the moment that the store closed, that still means he isn't home until 7pm. However, anyone that has ever worked in retail knows that leaving the store at what is officially closing time is impossible. First of all, somebody has to actually close the store, secondly, many customers don't seem to notice the time and don't actually leave the store right at closing time. It is also true that my husband works nearly every Saturday, this is the reality of working at a retail store, Saturdays are the busiest day, and everyone works on Saturday. However he also doesn't ever work a Sunday or on any holiday because the store is closed, a rarity in this day and age and Mondays are his regular day off, which means we get to have him home for Family Home Evenings. So yes, it's true, I am on my own a lot of the time. It is true that I put the kids to bed on my own nearly every night. It is true that he rarely graces our dinner table. BUT when he is home, he's home. He can get those girls to clean up in half the time they'll do it for me. He takes the girls out on Daddy daughter dates, simple ones like just running errands, or going Home Teaching, or out to Tim's shop to fix the car or the van, and sometimes even out for lunch. When the girls have school stuff going on, he leaves work early so that he can be there for them. When the kids are misbehaving at home, all I have to do is make a call to his work and he takes the time to talk to them and set them straight(why do they listen to their father better than me? so not fair.). We have great fun on our family outings, whether it's a one day day trip to some random town in Montana, a short and wet camping trip to Whitlash in the spring or a fabulous summer camping trip in the mountains. Oh yes, and did I mention that he stepped out of his comfort zone and figured out how to fix the washer, the dryer and the dishwasher? He also attempted to fix the garage door opener, but that kinda backfired. Best of all, he spoils me with flowers and chocolate and cheesecake for no reason at all. He makes time for him and I time, date nights and little weekend getaways. He often has some kind of surprise up his sleeve of some kind or another, or one brewing for some time down the road. He makes me feel special and loved and needed. And I'm pretty darn certain that the girls would tell you the same thing and there is no wondering how the boy feels about him.
Having said all that, I will also say this, it isn't easy. I'll admit I have days where I wish that he had the typical Mon-Fri, 9-5 job that would allow him to be home for supper and helping put the kids to bed. But those moments are few and fairly far between. The reality is this: We love living in Milk River, we love the community, we love the school and the teachers, and we love our ward. But not only that, we KNOW this is where we are supposed to be. This is where the Lord wants us to be. And knowing that makes everything else fall into place.
So please, stop telling me that my husband should be home at a certain time or work different hours. Or that I deserve more, or that I put up with too much. I'm tired of hearing it and I am tired of defending him over OUR choice.
What I have is a man who loves me and our children and works hard for us. I have a man who is a righteous Priesthood holder. I have a man with a tender heart, and isn't afraid to show it. I have a man who treats me like a queen. No, our life isn't perfect, but like the sign on my living room wall says "life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful". Yeah, I saw that sign in a little shop in Eureka, Montana and mentioned to him how much I loved it. So he went back later and bought for me. What can I say, I'm a lucky gal!
