It's been a week full of a lack of motivation for anything. Basically I just don't care. About what you ask? Well, anything really. Earlier this evening I went and flopped on my bed, less than an hour until it was time to put kids to bed. All I could think was "Do I have to? I'd rather just lay here on the bed". Usually I get busy and get stuff done once the kids are in bed, but this week I really haven't done anything, seriously not a thing. I don't even feel like reading. I might sit in front of the TV and watch...something, I don't know what exactly. Or I'll just waste time doing nothing on the computer. Basically, I find a whole lot of nothing to do and then go to bed. OH, and my nights have been terrible this week. I have ridiculous dreams all night long about, you guessed it NOTHING! I keep waking up through the night, visit the bathroom, go back to bed only to continue dreaming the same dream about nothing. By the time I actually have to get up in the morning, I feel like I have been up all night doing nothing, and I feel exhausted before the day has even begun.
OK, see I am rambling...about nothing. Back to me laying on my bed. Daniel comes in to the bedroom as he is getting ready to head out to a church meeting and I mention that I just can't get myself to do anything because I just don't care. He suggested that maybe it was time to force myself to care. Yeah he might be right, but I didn't care. Soon after Kathryn came in to tell me that Survivor was on and asked if I wanted to watch it. But I didn't, because I just didn't care. Tansley came in and came in and gave me a hug and soon after Kymberly came in, climbed up beside me and asked "you feeling sick mom?". "No," I said "I just don't care". "Don't worry mom." she replied and then gave me a big hug complete with the "mmmmm" sound and a squeeze, kissed my cheek and got down off the bed and headed out the door. As she left I said with a smile on my face "Kymberly, you are adorable, I love you!" "I love you too mom". And off she went. The three short little visits from my girls was enough to put a smile on my face and get me up off my bed to get them ready for bed. And now that they are in bed, maybe I can force myself to care about some of the stuff that needs to be taken care of...and maybe even with a smile on my face.
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with depression, panic attacks and wanting to do "nothing" for as long as I can remember. Not saying you have any of those, but, something that may help is B100's. They are pretty cheap ($15 for a three month supply) and they will not harm you because any extra you void. This is a complex of all the B vitamins. It helps ballance out our hormones (and we all have an imballance if we are women! :D) and make us better able to "deal". I have been using them for 8 years now and it has been heaven.
Anyway, if it helps, I am glad I commented.
Take care
Thanks Jaime, I'll look into it. I love(or not so much) all the imbalances that pregnancy brings. I think I've been feeling it more with this pregnancy that with the others.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't doing "nothing". You are creating a life, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and that can be exhausting. I've done this six times myself, and it gets harder, every time. But you can do it! Look what a good job you did of the first three!
ReplyDeleteMandy, you are crazy, when are you due anyways?
ReplyDeleteI'm due June 12.
ReplyDelete